Aside from the little heartbreaks I had in middle school, where I would cry in the bathroom to New Found Glory, my real heartbreaks started when I was 18 years old. The first guy I actually dated was a cool hipster kid that introduced me to City and Colour. After he broke things off with me, I couldn’t stop listening to “Sleeping Sickness” and “Constant Knot.” I would ugly cry myself to sleep every night. This was back in 2008, and I didn’t listen to either of those songs again until almost 10 years later. Whenever they come on, I still remember the feeling of my first heartbreak, but without all the ugly crying.
I’ve only had one real boyfriend, and a good chunk of the songs on the playlist come from that relationship. Half way through our 4-year relationship, I caught him with another girl and I broke up with him for about a month or two. The song that gave me the courage to actually end things with him was “Heartless” by A Day to Remember. I remember driving to his house at 10am, ready to break up with him, and blasting that song. I grabbed all the cool shit I ever bought him and left. I even had a party that evening with all my friends. I remember we were all chilling, listening to some pop punk music channel, and all of a sudden “I Want to Hear You Sad” by the Early November comes on. I burst into tears because I feel like that was the point when it hit me that I was single. I had broken up with a guy that I loved and I was a mess. I needed time away, so I went to McAllen and when I was hanging out with my favorite cousin, Reggie, he started playing the new Drake album for me. As soon as he told me to listen to “Take Care” by Drake, I felt a whole new weight lifted off my shoulders. After listening to “If It Means A Lot to You” on repeat, it was nice to have a change of pace with the dreamy Drake. – Side note, I did get back with him for another 2 years because I was real pendeja back then.
I’ve now been single for 4-years and I’ve dated my fair share of idiots. The last 4 songs in my 10-song part of the playlist are just miscellaneous songs that I usually scream sing in the shower, at karaoke, or drunkenly to my cat. I feel like they’re more of the empowerment part of my love life.
Be sure to check out the Late Night Swipes Podcast coming soon to Sticker Fridge!